My Tatay-- Disciplinarian Yet Liberal

     The thought of the word "tatay" puts me teary-eyed...at least a bit. I'm a guy whose not easily crying a river when emotion is overwhelmed with heart-rending scenes.

My dad, tatay, itay, my hero 
together with my mom, nanay, inay

     I can still picture-out how my "old man" looks like when he was like at his prime. He's like the Hercules, the Superman, the Conan but not a barbarian, the Thor, and the great provider in our family. His voice echoes unto our veins when he starts shouting-out our names especially when we're out of the house and playing in a nearby neighbour's house without his permission. He would always gets mad at us (my sister amd me-- we are the first two children in the family) if we escape to play without asking permission from either him or nanay. Well, it's a good sign of being good parents. They are always after the welfare of their children.

     He has this muscular physique, broad shoulders (this is where I got mine), good posture that girls would swoon for if he's still available. Of course, in the "pogi department" he's not to be discounted for since he has the looks too. He's a ladies man. His good charisma to women makes my nanay a bit jealous. Well, just a bit since my nanay is so confident that she's the only girl in the world of my tatay. And no matter how many girls would tempt my dear ama, he has this terrific self control. A control that manifest how he values his family.

     You can always see him flashing his brilliant and care-free smiles and hear his boisterious laughter whenever there are funny things being partied on. He doesn't have the elements of scarcasm but he's extremely frank. If he knew his in the right parameters of reasons and truth, no one can challenge him even a blazing sword or a gun. He would stand for the truth even if it would cost him to jail or death. I have been a witness to his heroism and embracing truth.

     He is a man of action. He speaks little but act more. He doesn't want to speak too much but when he do, be sure to be penetrated right unto the bones. He is a man of honor and he can keep highly confidential things (a trait I got from him). He said things of secret in nature should be kept locked in your heart as a sign of respect to the one who entrusted it to you. This is one vivid memory I can still remember from him when he's giving us words of wisdom.

     For someone who was born and grew up after martial law, it is very rare to see a dad who has this liberal views of things. It's typical in a remote community settings wherein children, most of the time, are not allowed to speak up to explain about a rift they are involved too. Many parents in our town or barrio would literally speak such litanies as this: "Tumahimik ka kung ayaw mong tamaan ka! or Hintayin mong matapos ako sa kausap ko at malilintikan ka!. But our tatay is so different, way at par from the rest of the dads in our sitio. In times like this, before casting his verdict to us when we had our petty quarrels with our "kalaro", he would at all times give us the freedom to express our side or explain the whole thing before his rod will slaps our behind (butt). He's not the type of a father who would just hit their children rightaway without even probing what's the real incident was.

     This is the most and highly admirable character my tatay has. He is a liberal man. He never dominates a certain situation instead he listens well and speaks up when his time is due. He listen more than he speaks. But mind you, when you ask him about his insights regarding an issue, his would be of genuine, unbiased, and fair judgment. He's always seeking what's truth in it. He can't be paid with millions just to lie for something he knew was true. Nor will he trade his principles for something that could alleviate his family's status financially. He always reasons out that "Kaya ko naman kumayod or buhayin ang pamilya ko sa paraang disente". And I can't trade this principle of him when finally I'll be having my own family.

     Tatay, you are more than a father to me, you're a hero, a great friend, a smiling companion, a mentor, a leader, a great provider, a beacon of principle and light, a stronghold, a fortress. Words may run out as well as adjectives to completely describes you, but here's few words to end this:

     "Tatay, you are the great disciplinarian in a very liberal way and I'm forever indebted to you for the great leadership, mentoring, and rearing us up as descent as you did."

     "Soon, I'll start my own family and I will carry those words of wisdom you've inculcated in us. I can't level up your feat as a father but I can carry your words as I start mine."

     Thanks for being our father, our great & humble father. I can't wait to see you in my wedding to thank you personally for raising me up and being a huge part of who I am today.

     "I love you from the bottom of my heart!"

     Your son,

     Jay

Bullies Lower Confidence

     I have confidence in people as I have it in myself. It's not lost and will never be lost.

      At times, maybe it may dies down or the indicator would hit the lows of low instead of the highs of high. In spite of it, still things should go on, move on. It's the only way that matter in today's complex world we're livin' in. It's like "don't get affected too much, just learn from those".  And never try to follow their lead if you know it would cause you defiling or crashing people even in the intention of a joke.

     But in today's world, even the very people you're near with sometimes lashes out hard-hitting jokes which get your ego off-guarded, a time when your emotion can't graciously handles. Sometimes, you'll never know how to react. Will you pretend you're happy and go with the flow?..anyway as they discloses, "don't take it seriously, it's just a joke". But the thing is, no matter how you throw-out a joke- it's no-pun-intended. It's still has the element of a "half truth" as some would believe in it.

     There is this awkward moments when people closer to you goes off beyond your personal limits. Thinking just because they are close to you and you to them, they have all the freedom to express all their "jokie-jokie" not even realizing that even if you're close to them, you still deserved to be treated in the usual norm. It's always a pretext, an excuse for them, when you started noticing their unguarded words.

     

There are times in our lives where we feel weary, where we think we can't handle unhealthy words especially from friends whom you put your trust with. There are moments where you just feel it's better to stay than goin' out with them when you know right in the middle of friendly discussion you'll be put once again in the spot and them started throwing "indirect utterance of jokes" which leads to boisterous laughs at your own expense. I, for one, experiences what I'm talking about here. No matter how hard you try to ignore them, still there's a part in you which felt violated. There's a portion in your ego that clearly echoes-out and bounced back letting you know that "you're a bit hurt or really hurt". Letting you feel that the situation is awkward for you to stay longer.

 

     But, don't get me wrong, at some points in my life, I had been one of them too. And I want to say sorry for doing such to whoever I have bullied a bit in my life. Hmmm..may be not really termed as "bully"  for me but I guess it's more of an "out-of-tune expression of a joke". I should have known it earlier that bullying is not really good, not even a fun thing to do. We never realized how big a damage we had caused to a person which literally lowered their confidence. It's a scary thing. Why? It's because we are contributing to the development of their inferiority complex which can lead them to be demotivated. It weakens their plight to try harder because they can't easily moved on to the previous encounter which really affected their lives.

      I want to go back to my early life. I had been a victim of heavy bullying. My childhood isn't a great one for those times when I've been subjected to so many criticism and bullying which I don't deserved. I don't know why. I can't even understand why I should suffer such when the truth was "I'm just a regular guy, so naive to the point of like "I can't even mess out or break a crystal  plate".  It affected me so much. There were times when I almost quit trying things because I was afraid I'll be the talk of the hours or even a day or worse even for a week or a month. 

     I am a sensitive guy. When I experience the lows of low in my life my initial tendency is to lure to it. I'll let myself feel the pain while thinking why is it done to me when I don't deserve it either. When I'm hurt, or bothered I can't hide it. My concentration is so weak that people around me would easily notice that I'm not OK. 

     My bullying experiences had positive effects to me though, at least for the later part of my life. Well, for one, it reminds me that I should be careful with my words, that I should think first before I say or do a thing. That I should always be respectful of the people around me even when things get difficult. The experience always slaps me and let me know that I should always treat people right.

     I have let go of the pain, I have come to term and understand why such things happened as they were before. I have moved on with lessons that will be with me through the rest of my lifetime. I forgive the past and the people from my past who contributed to my pain before.

     With the experience I gone through I was able to solidify my desire to strive harder and to passionately work on things I aim for. I've played in the field where tough people lingers and I have made an accomplishment should have been different if I had a path dissimilar to what I've been through.

     But, with all these things, I have only lessons to share. Never be fazed by bullies and don't let them step in your shoes. Hold your ground as long as you're in the right path. Bullies are people who are victims too, it just so happen that you were made their shock absorber about their frustrations for they lack the courage to face their fears.

     Don't count yourself as one of the bullies, but be a believer that life is brilliant for a person who suffers being bullied because it just show how strong you are to faced them. And courage will never left you as long as you stay connected to your cause and you know who you are.

     This entry was written at 2Am of Saturday, October 1, 2011. I was able to woke-up from a long and nice sleep. The motivation came from a video I saw from the net which led me to write all about this topic.

     It's 2:46AM now, I'll go back to sleep again. See you in my next entry. God bless y'all. Peace to y'all. :)))

Addiction

     Addiction? 

     Why am I writing about this topic when too many won't even explore it either? Why suddenly in the middle of work I quickly took a break and abandoned the paper works I am currently working on and rushed to open my Google account and started writing?

     To many, this word entails a negative meaning. It's connotation quickly shy-out our enthusiasm to get to know someone labeled with it. Oftentimes, this word is associated to a person who is  suffering from an excessive use of prohibited medicines.

     But heck-of-a-hell! I ain't no overdose with any of these prohibited medicines. Instead I'm deeply drowned with the extreme interest to write. And this makes me an addict - a writing addict. I don't know but whenever I feel the need to write or whenever ideas shoot-into my neuron I can't stop myself. The next move is to look for a pen and a piece of paper to capture the very idea that is presented to me. As the case now, "it either pressing the keys of the keyboard of a PC or a Laptop. And if you're a gadget-trend freak, you might as well writing using an Ipad via its touch screen feature. There is this thing with an "idea". It's like a shooting star that you should make a wish before it's gone. So, ideas before it's gone should be scribbled quickly to hold on to it. So that before a writer's block sets in, it can never erase brilliant ideas you were able to jot down.

     I just want to clear things out. I am not a professional writer, though I dreamed and still dreaming to be one. It would be fitting if I'd say I'm just a struggling writer. To put it in a different perspective, it's like I am a college undergrad who's a semester shy of finishing the entire course.

    

     I had been desiring to write few days back but due to a very busy schedule, it stops me from doing so. And the worst part is that ideas which previously popped-out of my mind were lost already and retrieving them back is like trying to win a battle without a blazing sword. You know what guys, I had this memory problem....sort of a memory loss..or to put it in a very clear perspective, my memory isn't functioning that well. I always forget things and events. The only thing I can brag on is my terrific recognition of a face of a person even if I just meet them once. But to trace back a particular situation in the past, Bloody hell! trust me and I'll embarrass you. I'm really damn forgetful and it ain't no good I know. This is why I always write things in office and at home.

    Maybe God has showered me with a gift of writing so that it would compensate my state of incapacitated memory. God knows that in my future life my memory will slowly deteriorates so He made it a point to endow me with this ability...hehehe (Just trying to figure out what God has thought of me..hehehe.)

    But writing has been one of my constant companions through thick and thin, great and hard times, ups and downs moments. It releases the tensions my body has and the outburst that my heart holds. 

     Interestingly, I had been a lover of writing since I was in my pre-school days. In fact, in school I am always regarded as one of the students with "best writing skills" in terms of penmanship. I can well remember memories of me writing on a banana leaf, in our windows (our house windows are made of native bamboo), on top of our table, chairs, and everywhere so long as I can make use of my pencil or worse is the crayons. Some experiences gave me a deafening shout and scream from either my "nanay" or "tatay" for carelessly writing to portions in our house which shouldn't be written of anything in the first place. It explained my great desire in writing. 

     I don't know where my writing skills would lead me, but one thing for sure, no one can ever stop me from writing. I will write as long as I am able. I will scribble even in the darkest of nights. I will write  because it's a source of my happiness. I will write even when no one will read my script but me. And that's addiction. I am addicted to write as I am addicted to love! 

     By the way, it's 96 days before Christmas! It's excitement!!! and 75 days left of my bachelor's life.     

     Until my next entry. Peace y'all. :))

CONFIRMED!

     Yesterday was such a long and exhausting day for me. But fruitful enough to complain all about fatigue. Why? Well, I'll tell you, just bear with your eyes open so that you can read the details of it..hehehe. 
     
     Basically, as a Catholic Christian, it is our religious tradition to undergo different sacraments as a requirement of being a full member our religious congregation. 
     
     Before I'll proceed with my story, let me orient you with the different sacraments we have in our Catholic faith. Actually, we have seven (7) of them and here it goes;

1. BAPTISM - For Catholics, the Sacrament of Baptism is the first step in a lifelong journey of commitment and discipleship. Whether we are baptized as infants or adults, Baptism is the Church's way of celebrating and enacting the embrace of God.

2. EUCHARIST - Catholics believe the Eucharist, or Communion, is both a sacrifice and a meal. We believe in the real presence of Jesus, who died for our sins. As we receive Christ's Body and Blood, we also are nourished spiritually and brought closer to God. 

3. RECONCILIATION - The Catholic Sacrament of Reconciliation (also known as Penance, or Penance and Reconciliation) has three elements: conversion, confession and celebration. In it we find God's unconditional forgiveness; as a result we are called to forgive others









4. CONFIRMATION - Confirmation is a Catholic Sacrament of mature Christian commitment and a deepening of baptismal gifts. It is one of the three Sacraments of Initiation for Catholics. It is most often associated with the gifts of the Holy Spirit.

5. MARRIAGE - For Catholics, the Sacrament of Marriage, or Holy Matrimony, is a public sign that one gives oneself totally to this other person. It is also a public statement about God: the loving union of husband and wife speaks of family values and also God's values.

6. HOLY ORDERS - In the Sacrament of Holy Orders, or Ordination, the priest being ordained vows to lead other Catholics by bringing them the sacraments (especially the Eucharist), by proclaiming the Gospel, and by providing other means to holiness.

7. ANOINTING OF THE SICK - The Catholic Sacrament of Anointing of the Sick, formerly known as Last Rites or Extreme Unction, is a ritual of healing appropriate not only for physical but also for mental and spiritual sickness.




     My story is a bit funny. For others, some would think, "Why just now?" It should have been done way back during my teen-days. Days like that of grade school years. But, there are things in life that happens against the way we wanted. It's the course of nature sometimes. Or I guess it's more fitting if I'd say it's part of God's plan for me. I don't want to go back whining and blame my parents why this had happened. I am sure whatever reason they have way back is reasonable enough.


     I am talking about my "Confirmation". Yes, it's clear....my confirmation. It just happened yesterday (Friday of 23rd of September 2011). Never did I imagined that due to one unexplained (but the real reason is | forgot) incident during my teenage days that's why it happened the way it did. And never in my wildest fancy that I'll be receiving the said sacrament in a place where doing such is a discreet thing. 


     Pardon me guys, I won't throw away details of it for security reason. Plus having the feeling of not being able to share you some photos together with the bishop who conducted it to me is so frustrating - I have photos of him though as he willingly let us do some photo opportunity with him. He's such a nice man - very fond of cracking light humor yet so funny when he throws it out. He is an Italian bishop specifically from Venice, Italy. He told me that he had been to our country - Pinas in Surigao in particular.  And last Friday he visited our silent and private religious sanctuary for a very important mission. Many had been so envious yet excited and happy because I am the first one who received the sacrament under him just in time when he officially declared "your church is erected on this day" as an official parish. The very first in this part of the world. He was commissioned by the Vatican to do the honor of "officially erecting the church" from where I am located now. That day marked a "history" in my life. Instead of having the feeling of awkwardness since I'm old enough to be given such sacrament but it turned out that many including other nationalities extended a message of congratulations to me. Such a touchy-feely moment...hehehe!


     I'm really battling with the idea of whether to post or not to post photos of us. It's just because I am so proud to have been able to brush-off shoulder with him, engaged in a light convy--and also the first time to see a bishop in person. That day, too, was a testament of congesting influx of parishioners. As I glanced my eyes around, I can see that the place has been so crowded, some where really finding their way to squeeze in just to earn a seat in the venue. I'm with my fiancee, my confirmation sponsors, and with some of my community friends.


     OK, I have high respect to the reason of security measures and high confidentiality of the place. So, I decided not to post anything that would literally put our silent religious sanctuary in danger and the very lives of the priest and bishop who conducts mass inside it. Now, if you're really filled with overflowing curiousity, feel free to send me a request and I'll let you view photos of us privately.


     By the way, part of the reason why I was forced to undergo "urgent confirmation" is that I am going to tie the knot this year. If not for the wedding requirement, I would still have been ignoring this important part of being a Catholic up to this time. Funny right?, hehehe..but that's life. As they say, things happen for a reason. 


     This is all for today, I have nothing to add plus it's too lengthy already. So guys, have a nice read. Godbless everyone. Until my next entry.
     

This Is How I Pray

     A week absence is like unforgivable. My neglect is punishable. Ohh! I only got 24/7 to be a superman and do all things that needs to be done, things that inspires me and wished to be scribbled.

     I hope I'll find the luxury of time to capture & write all ideas, inspirational insights, and motivational situation that I see & comes in my mind. My neuron is rushing like a sprinter racing to tipped-off in the finish line and be victorious. But poor me, I only have one thalamus, 10 fingers, an able body and two feet to do all of these. But I am still highly thankful to GOD for providing me with these sets of physical support system for if one of them be rendered handicapped things will change......for sure.

  
  This post is devoted for my prayer of thanks, forgiveness, intentions/petitions and concerns that I want to lift up to the Lord.

     LORD.........
     
Thank you....

     -for the gift of life. Having one reduced me to appreciate all the wonders you've created
     -for the opportunity to wake up everyday, to smile to the world and to people
     -for the challenges I encounter each day. Challenges that provide me learning lessons.
     -for the camaraderie I enjoy in SFC (Singles For Christ), they inspire me, they guide me, they draw strength from me as I from them, they share blessings, we meet weekly to do that and I am forever thankful.
     -for the mantle of protection that as always you shielded me.
     -for having an imperfect yet supportive family
     -for peace of mind
     -for letting me part of my GG's life who has taught me important values to learn in life.


Forgive me.....

     -for my shortcomings, my stubbornness and my guilty pleasures sometimes.
     -for using my senses indulging to unholy thoughts, actions, and rants.
     -for being so lazy sometimes to pray.
     -for losing my sense of control over difficult situation and things.
     -for all of my past mistakes
     -for being unfaithful to you at times.


I Pray.....

     -for continuous guidance in me in every step I take and in every decision I make.
     -for protection to my family and friends
     -for the young, hopeless, and abandoned kids.
     -for our government and church leaders.
     -for people in our community.
     -for harmonious relationship with my love ones.
     -for peace to prevail on Earth.






As they say, pray like an innocent child, converse to God every minuscule of things in you. As I end, I leave with this question, "How Do you Pray?" 

Tame It

 

     Yesterday, I've been dying to sit down, sip a mug of coffee, and quickly write an article pertaining  to the talk, I and the rest of SFCs, attended & listened to, but it's just that my body and mind was too exhausted that I feel the immediate need to sleep. So I decided to pass on and communed with my bed (which I'm sure is missing me) at around 645PM. Initially, my plan was to just take a nap since I'm waiting for a call and/or SMS message from either bro. Zaldy or bro. Robert as we have agreed to fix the air conditioning switch-on/off outlet of bro. Satt. But the planned nap went on to be a long & unobstructed sleep. I felt blessed that I woke up from an uninterrupted sleep at exactly 552AM today feeling good and refreshed. Eyes not irritated. Rushed up to charge my mobile which is battery empty already. When I switched-on my mobile, I realized a call notification from bro. Robert and what-a-heck, I got five of them. Sorry bro, I never planned to sleep continuously but my body succumbed.

     Sometimes I feel a slight guilt when I'm rendered deep sleep because I can't even wake up answering calls and SMS messages. Pardon me guys, this is really me when I'm totally laid -sleep wise. Even the boisterous sounds of thunders won't wake me up. I remember a quote my mother had said way back then. And she quoted like this: "Halos magiba na ang langit, pero ikaw mahimbing pa rin ang tulog". There you go guys, as explained it all. So, just to give you the hint, in case I'm not answering at night even if my mobile is ringing  you already know my status. And my fiancee get used to it in the process. Thanks sweetie by the way for surpassing that test..hehehe..

     Meanwhile, going back to the topic. The talk was awesome and of course our well-loved speaker Tita Tess Lumbao is equally interesting and worth listening too. Shout out of thanks to the people (leaders and members) who've brilliantly came-up with this idea once again. Many have benefited with your efforts and I am a testament to that.

     Many a times when I've heard this talk, sat down, and soaked all that the speaker imparted, but our human capacity sometimes put us unguarded. Unguarded by the very words that comes out from our mouth. Evidently, such case usually happens when we are fuming with anger, our blood flow rushing fast, and our initial tendency is to hit back by saying some impolite even the "grossly-below-the-designer's belt" litanies of unsatisfactory words. And those unhealthy words were directed to those people we're in conflict with or in some cases have simple misunderstanding with. Our usual resolve is to be defensive. Our ego has been crashed or worst was blotted with foul words which is why our being defensive take the lead.


     During those younger years, I, for one, has been a culprit of "speaking in bad tongue" and I won't deny it because If I'd be perfect then I wouldn't be attending this kind of teaching and sat down quietly internalizing the lessons of the talk. It never matters to me how many times I've heard or will be hearing this talk because it isn't about the "how many times" but "the opportunity of being reminded" that is far more important to me. Sometimes, we can never learn a lesson from a similar mistake at once. There are few instances in our own experiences that we need to fall down several times before a similar lesson is being lived-out. 

     I can well remember Tita Tess words and it goes like this: "Our tongue can be used both as a blessing and a curse." As said those that comes out from our mouth originates from our heart. So, it is a must at all times that we should be more sensitive in conveying our speech or language. Our words can make or break an individual. 


     Moreover, as I can remember her quoting "One angry word from a leader of a nation directed to another leader of a nation can provoke war." We should be careful with the tone of our voice and the meaning behind it because words are an outward expression of what we feel inside us.

     It is of critical importance how we should communicate towards one another. Having our speech in order is one crucial aspect of righteousness and love. There are key problems presented in our unguarded communication, we have SLANDER or speaking a false or malicious words or statements against someone, GOSSIP, BUSY BODIES or people busy taking part on other's problem without direct involvement in it, and NEGATIVE HUMOR. 

     Many have said that "we are human and we are prone to commit these things". But we should also realize that being human we are given free will by God to think and exercise our mind in a manner divinely possible. That, in all instances, we should always talk with sincerity of the heart, openness of the mind, and uplifting of the spirit.


     Our words should be an expression of love, hope, support, and affection. It is wise if we'll just spread or talk about good things regarding other people and spare our time in soaking to news that defiles them. It's difficult to be engaged in the business of crashing people because in the long run it's your own persona upon which you're crashing too. Remember, we mirror each other.


     To end this, I shall leave you with these four-way test questions in passing information to another person. First, Is your story TRUE? Second, Is what you're going to tell me KIND? Third, Is the story NECESSARY? and finally the fourth, If what you're going to tell me is neither TRUE, KIND and NECESSARY, you better keep it to yourself. 


     We have the POWER to INSPIRE or DISCOURAGE as well as the POWER to HEAL or HURT. Now, which would you choose? Are you still gonna exercise your mouth reciting unguarded speech or tame the beast inside it?

Road to Christmas: Days Left -111

     As promised, here I am once again updating you with today's encounter. And it's 111 days to go before Christmas.

     Hmmm..so what's special about this "triple first number". Well, as to me it got lots of significance. Anyone can associate this number to anything they wanted to think of. Someone has to be as imaginative as the scriptwriter or director to form coherent thoughts.


     111 can be a triple success for your today's endeavor. 111 can be the number of opportunities that might knock on your door today. 111 can be the times you had your firsts in adventures you're neophyte to.

     One hundred and eleven days. It's like so close yet so far. Far as it may seem, but thinking 'bout it open my eyes to the idea of a grand celebration. A time of the year where big and sweet smile flashes to your love ones, to some people whom you had misunderstanding with, to a stranger in the street, to the sales attendant in a department store while buying your desired gift, to a crew in a fast food chain where you're ready to claim your "take out purchase" as a present to your favorite niece and to the street cleaner for a job well done helping maintain the aesthetics of your village.


     I can't help but linger on day-dream or shall I coin it as a "wide awake dream". There is a special place in my heart that delight to the very season of our Jesus Christ's coming to earth. A chance to renew my vow as a Christian, an opportunity to give back and share blessings. It's also a great chance to boldly express our love to our dear family members and close friends and relatives as well.

     I always love the idea of togetherness, of being one with the whole family. I say so because seldom do it happens to us nowadays. A thing which sometimes put me in a state of melancholy. It's hard not to see them on a daily basis, more so of not being able to ask how they are doing in their everyday strugggles. But life is like that, we sometime have to learn to endure the sacrifices for the common good and goal to our families.

     

     Right now, I'll direct you to the last encounter I had today. An unexpected dinner and visit to two of my co-SFCs in the community. Bro. Don Phero San Lorenzo Marcaida and Bro. Jun Santo Tomas Jr. The place--KFC- Rakkah branch. The funny thing was KFC always serves as our melting pot when SFCs would think of ordinary dining out together. Yet, we don't even had this feeling of "nakakasawa na". Why is that so? Well, it's because we (or I) intentionally overlook how sumptuous the food can be but more so of the sensible and funny exchanges of conversation we can certainly enjoy.

     I'm sleepy now, so I'll end this entry to a cliche: "Smile, it irritates those who wants to destroy you."


     Godbless everyone. Sleep tight, until my next entry.

I'm Gonna Love You

     "I'm gonna love you ....I know this time it's right."

     Been thinking of you everyday and every night. 

     Been thankful of you coz you're the only one I know so patient and wise. I'm gonna make you feel like your the only woman in this world. Like you're the only one who truly knows my heart.

     My words aren't enough nor my actions do, but I knew deep down in my thoughts that I need you more than I want you. I need you because I knew I love you. 

     Soon, sooner, and soonest, you'll be my wife. I'm anxious yet excited. My emotion is mixed, it's like it's crumpled and squeezed. But I know, I know far ahead that things between us will work out just fine. Together we will weave the story of our lives. 

     I know, in times and at times, people around us may not agree with the path we'll both walk through but it is us that will be answerable to what may our decisions present us.

     The words can promise lots of beautiful things but the action will seal it solidly. Words can inspire but acting upon what we believed in will not only inspire us but will move us.

     I can't promise you the world coz it's too far to happen. I hope my presence is all and enough for you to bring smile in your beautiful face.

     Only few words I can leave you assured: "let us be true to our commitment throughout our lifetime."

     Lastly, thank you for loving me and for choosing me to be part of your life in this lifetime."

 

     I was listening to this very beautiful song earlier while am on my 3-hour break and I was just moved which led me to write this sort of love letter to my fiancee. It's so inspiring that my imagination really runs miles and wild. Plus a bonus since it was covered by Boyce Avenue which makes it more interesting. The lead vocal got a very soulful voice. His entire performance truly rocked and knocked me out. Kudos to the band.

     Pardon me, the photos are kind of a bit sensual but I guess it's in good taste...so just be inspired and inlove. For young readers, please be guided and behave accordingly &appropriately.

     Godbless, until my next entry.-:))))

Road to Christmas - My Own Countdown - 112 Days

     Whoaah! I computed the number of days left for 2011 until Christmas time comes and bingo it's 112 days to go from today.


     112 days to go, 112 days to do more good if not great things, 112 days to make people around me smile or even laugh, 112 days to start something worth remembering before the clock hits the remembrance of Jesus' birth. It's really a euphoric scenario as I can imagine.

     As I was browsing some FB profile, I encountered one of my friends' portfolio. She was so excited that she'll be celebrating Christmas in the Philippines. Five years of wait, five years of longing and five years of not being able to hear jingle bells and the merry sounds of Christmas carols in myriad of places like malls, residential areas, parks and the likes. As I continuously read her shout-out I can feel the same emotion as I am happy to the idea of celebration.

     Many a times when our country has been regarded as the only country which celebrates the Christmas and New Year merriment for almost a month. For us Filipinos, the atmosphere during Christmas season is very light. There is this certain feeling of security and of peace. When you see people running or walking the street, it's like a smile is a freebie that you need to give away as it delights one's heart.

     It's always a joy to be around in the Philippines during the Christmas season. But to many of the Filipinos like me whose works literally separates us from our homeland, we only content ourselves by doing discreet celebrations especially since we are inbound a country where celebrations as such isn't recognized due to religious differences.

     Back to 112 days. I don't know but when people hear or realize that the calendar months reaches the ending syllable in "ber" it's like they also have to change their attitude somehow. Maybe because of the anticipation of the forthcoming yuletide season. Right now, I don't have concrete things nor plan in mind how will I spend or celebrate Christmas. I just don't want to fall again into the trap of "broken promises" as I hate promises. Through times, I've been seeing myself weak at delivering such. Many a times I broke promises and this time I don't want people to expect from me. I don't want to disappoint and more so to disappoint myself for not living up to it.  So, I guess it is just wise to enjoy each day and live on the present moment. Not thinking too much of the next day to come.


     As some says, we are the masters of our own attitudes. It is up to us what kind of attitude are we gonna display once a certain circumstance arises. But mind you, always be on the other end of the tunnel where light can be seen. In simple terms, wear the attitude of positivism as it always brings good results.

     So guys, if you're going to count down the number of days left before Christmas, what will be your plans? Well, I leave it up to you, I can't decide it for you as I don't live your life. 


     Just remember to always incorporate God's providence in all your plans as He is the master designer of it all. He can fail you for a reason or let you succeed for a reason too.


     Stay blessed everyone. -:)))

The Missing Months – March to August 2011 - Hiatus Ended

     

     Wow! Time really flies fast. I never realized that I missed the full six-months without even a single entry in my blog. My bad really—really negligent. Well, I had several would-be-entries though, but I wasn’t able to post it and I find no interest in posting it now. The timing is off now.

     Well, blame it to the full & tight schedules and all the other activities I had plus the hustle & bustle of my big day preparations. 

     I have nothing special to talk about now. I don’t know but my neuron isn’t working well plus I’d say ideas don’t cooperate right now. Is it a brain drain? Am I suffering to it na ba? Or is it that my head is just too clogged with lots of things and thoughts.  And mixes of different thoughts doesn’t give me the fuel to be more driven. I don’t know, I don’t know really……I cant concentrate much!!!

     Sometimes I find myself on a long constant stare at something. A stare that if directed to a person would let them suspect that I’m after them. Whoaah! It’s crazy freakin’ not-so-good.

     Hey, Jay, wake up, are you in deep sleep, why can’t you express the way you used to before. What’s happening man? Are you sane? Or insane now? Hahaha… Insane because ideas run out from you and chasing ‘em is like chasing a distant moon that’ll take years to reach.

     Anyway, no matter how senseless I talk right now, just remember guys, that it’s not the normal me. The normal me is a dreamer and more fitting to say “is a day-dreamer.”

     The important thing about it is I was able to break the curse- the spell of inactivity, the mantra that rendered my blogsite inactive for half a year.

     Now, I am regaining what I've lost &missed, I’m starting to boil again and burst into a catastrophic of ideas.

     Six months hiatus is long enough to end the state of dormancy. Let get back on track again and I hope you guys will still find time to read my posts.

     Godbless you all!