The Dryness of Spirit in Me?

Marahil ay di na naging lingid sa inyo magiliw kong mambabasa kung bakit parang madalang pa sa patak ng ulan ang aking entry nitong mga nakaraang araw? or isang linggo na yata.


May pinagdadaanan lang ng personal ang inyong lingkod.


Kagaya ng nakasulat sa pamagat, nakakaranas ako ngayon ng "weakening of the spirit". -- ito yong tinatawag na "spiritual dryness". Ouchh! parang ang lalim ba? Oo, malalim nga yata kasi there comes a point na I feel like my spirit is not ablaze. I feel like I'm so weak inside. All my vulnerabilities attacked me.


Maging ako man ay di ko naiintindihan ang aking sarili sa mga nangyayari ngayon. Maging sa pagsusulat ay biglang di ako naging interesado. Parang ayaw ko ng magsulat.


Sa mga nakakakilala sa akin ng husto, ito'y isang maaaring nakakagulat na pahayag. Batid kasi nila kung gaano ako kakulet or ka "ligalig" kapag kasama nila ako.


Pero, nilalabanan ko naman ang aking sitwasyon. Alam kung pagsubok lang ito. Ang nakakatawa at nakakainis na rin eh kung paanong parang di na ako nasanay sa mga challenges na dumadating sa akin. Parang tuwing may bagong dating, I feel like I'm always a newbie to it. 


Ganunpaman, kakayanin ko ang lahat ng ito. Maaaring nakaramdam lang ako ng mga pressures these past days kaya siguro bumigay ang emotional side ko. Plus, di pa maganda ang pakiramdam ko physically. Siguro nagkahalo-halo na rin.


Siguro nga napapanahon na. Napapanahon ng magkaroon ako ng "unclogging of unwanted elements in me". Kaya I'm looking forward na  to going back sa Pilipinas para makabisita nang muli sa aking favorite spot-- ang Blessed Sacrament ng Nature Church sa Las Pinas -- ang lugar kung saan ako naging member ng SFC (Singles For Christ). Doon ko ibubuhos ang lahat ng mga dapat kung ipagtapat sa diyos. Doon ko nanamnamin ang pakikipag-usap sa Panginoon in silence. Kung saan ako'y magiging isang listener lang. 


Kung nangangailangan man ng pagpatak ng luha ang magiging tagpong iyon, then so be it. Thy will be done!

Making A Memory

They were born

They breathe in & breathe out

They shared a life

They’ve dwelled for a while

They laughed, sometimes needed a cry

They inspired

They lit up

They shone down

They struggled

Yet didn’t survive

To those departed loved ones

Making a memory for once

Is a thousand and one night in an instant

THANK YOU

For a short-lived encounter

P.S. --> My own way of paying tribute to the departed ones

A Domino of Bad Luck

WARNING: This post isn't so interesting, it may bore you up. Don't risk or else you'll regret reading it. LoL!


I've had a nice sleep last night though mine only fitted for five hours since it's almost midnight when we've finished our rosary prayer intention for bro. Ronnie Bautista.


I opened my eyes at around 5:30 in the morning - my usual waking time. But, since it's still comfy to sleep I luckily managed to snatch almost an hour of extended sleep. And when the clock hits at 6:30 in the morning I finally rose up and fixed myself and the bed. By the way I slept at the "House of Voices" since bro. Sattie McScotty requested my presence that night.


Had to woke him up since I need to go back to my flat to fix myself up for office. And so he quickly ran to the shower room and had his bath. 


We left at around 7:00am and since no traffic disturbed us, we arrived in my flat at around 7:15am.  Had to rush up since I'm staying at the third floor of the building. I got in and opened my room. Immediately, I pick up my towel and under garment and quickly entered our shower room. Believed me, I finished consuming only a five minutes shower session. Gone out of the bathroom and dressed up and bingo! I'm done. It was like I'm competing for a Guinness World Record contest. 


And so I went down, a really fast paced walk was the scenario early morning. Luckily, I reached our office at exactly 7:30 in the morning. Whew! the exact time where I should get in. Quickly gone up and sat down at my office station. Opened my PC and started my daily routine. Then, suddenly I remember we have a schedule training today and nine o'clock is the call time. This is a further training for me in the system and to Talal, Bassam and Abdullah their first since they are newbies in our company.


While waiting for the nine o'clock time, I busied myself doing routine works: follow-up purchasing emails, inquiry for new suppliers, calling suppliers for our orders, a routine Skype chat/talk with our representative in China (Engr. Adil), and the enslaving daily stock transfer encoding in the system. I can't put all my works here--running it down would literally showing my work closet. LoL! 


So when was the domino effect of bad luck happened? Where did it all started?


Here's the story of my not-so-good day of November 02, 2011. I don't know if it has something to do with the observation of the "All Souls Day" or it's just a coincidence.


We headed to the training center "Motakamel Office". I was with four office mates summing up to five people. We arrived at around 9:15am. We had a short chat with the trainer and after that we proceeded to the formal module of the topic. I won't elaborate what it was since it won't matter to you.


The training went on until 1:00PM. It was really weird when I realized that I failed to bring my keys with me. It was stucked in my office table's drawer. And the dilemma started to fill in. So, a domino effect for the bad luck I got today really stressed me out.


As a result of forgotten set of keys, I wasn't able to get back to my flat for my lunch. We have a two-shift schedule at work and it's the reason why I always go home for lunch.  My mobile was in low battery and eventually emptied. I tried to call using Abdullah's mobile one of our office mates who has the office key but his mobile was off. I tried another one but to my surprised he didn't have the key too. Feeling frustrated, I just gave a big sigh. I was inside the car of Abdullah and even Abdullah and Talal were like a bit worried about me since worst case scenario was that "I'll be staying outside and wait until the 3:00 prayer finished. 


Talal offered me his flat to stay while I wait for the prayer time (sallah prayer). But he told me that he'll be back in the office at 4:30pm and I can't afford that since I have lots of things to accomplished. Losing an hour would really make a difference. Plus he was staying in Khobar. So, since I was riding with Abdullah's car I just told him to drop me by at a Filipino Restaurant. At least I can spend more than half an hour of eating my lunch for the purpose of killing the time. But I was forced to went out since the restaurant closes before prayer time. I was forced to leave and stay in front of our office for almost an hour since I got out of the restaurant at around 2:30 and office time is 3:30. 


Now, I was like a wanderer trying to fit in to the street. I stayed for an hour outside our office. I can't even peek in to my mobile since the battery was empty. Boredom quickly sets in and I hate it big time.


But, I did what I'm at best. I just write this article to kill the remaining time before our office resume. And this entry was like a non-sense to me. It's like a narration of a stressed individual clouded with frustration for a domino effect of unexpected things today.


LoL! At least I still was able to use my boredom to write this. 

Gone Too Soon

Life is so short..............


Life is full of surprises. It may bring you one great wide smile yet put you in tears in a wink of an eye.


You can be caught unprepared. It's like a sun that rises in the morning and sets before dusk.


Truth to what late Michael Jackson's lines in his famous song Gone Too Soon which says: "Like a comet blazin' across the evening sky; Gone too soon. Like a rainbow fading in a twinklin' eye; Gone too soon." This is how I can relate the sudden loss of a dear brother in SFC whose life has been so colorful during his time with us.


It's like he was just here the other day and gone the other night.


It's so devastating. We can never measure up how we are affected of his sudden demise. All that we could think of are those moments when we're still together, laughing our hearts out, collectively putting all our might serving God in a very strict land.


But now, he's gone. He will never come back. We won't see him face to face again. We will never have the chance to hear his voice.  Never will we experience again the tenderness of his attitude. The selfless brother who always offer anything for the community. A brother who would choose to walk under the blistering heat of the sun just to attend our household meeting or activities in our community.


Now, who will graciously offer us free donuts even without asking? Who will call in the middle of the night and tell endless stories of loneliness, of triumph, of hope,  of encouragement, and of faith? Who will cook our favorite "sinigang na ulo ng lapu-lapu" for the Dammam Boys --one of our favorites and his expertise?


No more Ronnie Bautista. It pains us realizing that we never got the chance to know the full extent of his sufferings. We never got the chance to step up with our help when we're needed the most.


Bro. Ronnie, you will be dearly missed. Eventhough, we can never fathom the deep of God's reason for choosing you to depart early yet we know you are safe and secure in His loving arms. We may have run short of our goodness to you when we're together but God will fill the missing part under his care.


Goodbye bro. We will cherish the good memories, the unsolicited advices that we gained from you and we'll try to emulate the unparalleled love and passion for service that you've shown to us.


May you REST IN PEACE.


God bless you......

A Hopeful Expecting Less

The last time I entered a contest or a competition was way back in college. During my quiz bee stints inside the campus and inter-university competitions.

My last memory of losing was when I participated in a "Brain Twister" in Holy Trinity College in Quezon City wherein I just ranked 8 out of 33 participants. It's a brain drain though. Competing against the toughest kids from the likes of UP-D, UST, PUP, PLM, Ateneo and etc. brought me in awe. I just can't believe I'm among them. It was like "do I belong here" kind of feeling. LoL. Doubting as I was, I just concentrated and did my thing. In the end, I lost. Though, I would say it's a graceful loss. A real fighter never quits and despite on a losing end, still finishes the battle.

I guess I've had 5 quiz bees wherein I've participated way back in college. It's enjoyable yet brought high amount of pressure as you are prodded to review and review...again and again.

It had been my attitude ever since I joined in a contest to be hopeful yet expecting less. As I'm constantly reminded of the floods of disappointment if I set the bar one step higher. 

Another solid motivation to write & inspire more

And this year, I feel like I'm a newbie once again in a competition. Well, for one, I didn't explore this kind of a battle--writing competition? Are you sure? that's what I pressed on myself. I'm not even a communication arts graduate neither had a degree in mass communication or journalism. Though that was my first choice before I ended my high school saga. But, triggered by my strong belief that "To be excellent is not confined only to those who had their expertise in their chosen field, but it also favors the heart of a determined Juan". And so I went in to join this year's Middle East Conference "Reflection Writing Contest".

My love for writing pushed me to participate, plus the support of those SFCs who believed in me boosted at par my confidence. The twist was this, "when I saw the email coming from our yahoo groups I got excited and murmured to myself saying "I'll join this one". Few days after, bro. Aris Espanola also told me to try joining and encourage other SFCs to participate as well. And so I did what was asked of me. 

The gift for a hopeful expecting less

But, due to my usual pre-occupied schedule and with lots of things constantly running in my mind, I forgot to make my entry early as it could be. Later when I realized that it was the last day already when I saw I guess an email or a FB notifications from the head secretariat warning about that day's deadline. And so I crammed a bit. I was like, will I still make it? will I still compose a credible entry? Lots of questions were flowing in my neuron that put me a little uncomfy and unease.

I read once again the criteria. While reading I came across this statement: "Pray before you write so that you'll be guided by the Holy Spirit". And so I did just that. 

The fruit of my labor

It was early in the afternoon on that deadline day when I finished a 200-words maximum requirements for my entry. Did few revisions and gotcha! I'm done. So, I immediately emailed it for submission in Riyadh for shortlisting.  The idea of shortlisting gave me again the unusual "butterflies in my stomach". Questioning again my credibility and capacity. The dilemma was that, it took another week for the announcement of the final 3 entries for KSA. So the eager me patiently waited. 

Then came the announcement after a week of waiting, I was on break when I received the SMS message from Sis. Jodie and she indirectly broke the good news to me by just saying "check you email". Seeing the words had put me in ecstatic mood. I knew that it was good news. And luckily, I made it as one of the top three contenders from KSA.

Moving ahead, now came the MEC proper. I just asked some SFC and CFC friends to hear over my entry during the announcement. Though I'm hopeful but I've already accepted the idea that "it's not all about winning but the sheer dedication of participating is what mattered to me". And led me to think that in case I win, it just a secondary thing for me. It's like a bonus. A topping in a cake. 

Finally, our former CFC Parents Coordinator here in the East broke the news to me and my good friend Joevan Gertes of Riyadh. Though my entry didnt' bag the top prize, the thought of being given a special award was more than winning the whole thing. It's a gift for my fiancee who celebrated her birthday on the 29th. Intangible at it was, she was delighted of it.

This is the testament of my faith put in writing. A concrete memorabilia that propels my spirit to inspire others, to be of person to others. The willful spirit in me who is a hopeful expecting less.

Follow Me

Follow Me! I'm begging....LoL!


I've started blogging officially last year. As far back as I can recall it was August of 2010 but not so active compared today. I've been writing though but not in blogs. I remember my account in the once famous "friendster". Poor site, I guess it was converted more as gaming site since it was outdone, outwitted, and outsmarted by other social network such as these enslaving and addicting Facebook and Twitter. Not to discount the fact that MySpace, Tumbler, Multiply and etc. had their own followings too.


Now, I'm more addicted to blogging. As a self-acclaim writer (kuno!), I decided to step-up in my writing. A hesitant me took it so long to explore online blogging since I'm the type of homo-sapien whose literally not tech-savvy enough to easily know all about this blogging thing by myself.


Few of my techie-friends would tell me "Jay, you're such a dumb-ass in the tech-world". Yeah, they're so true as I'm not really smart when it comes to technological advances and innovation. Well, perhaps because I'm not really putting my focus into it. Plus the fact that I don't follow trends of any kind. Let's put it this way, "I'm living a simple life" or "I'm trying to simplify my life." Hahaha! Such excuses...hahaha. Uhu! Actually, it's not really an excuse. I've decided to just live by my needs and not by my wants. It's more on necessity than pure luxury.


While peeking to some blog sites earlier, a thought just popped-out of me. I've noticed most of the bloggers have followers more than 20 and holy crap! mine was like 13? How is that? LoL! So, I've decided to search some tips on how to gain followers in my blog. And here are few of the tips I browsed:


Rule #1. Stay on topic: Pick a topic that you love and stick to it. 
Rule #2. Optimize your blog. Learn to use key words to get more traffic in the search engines.
Rule #3. Keep your post short. There are few people that will read anything longer than a few paragraphs.


LoL! And I officially declare those three rules a 100% horse manure, not to mention BORING.


I present to you Single Dad Laughing's revised list.


Rule #1- Write about whatever the heck you want to write about. You can keep some general topics. But if you haven't noticed, SDL is all over the place and most survive the experience intact.
Rule #2- What is optimization? Why worry about search? Somebody clicking in because a friend told them to come visit is 10,000 times powerful than somebody clicking in the search engines. Focus on what will make that happen instead.
Rule #3- Keep it serious? Are you serious? Yes, most of the time, but use however many words you need to use if you're putting an important message out there. The bullying post is somewhere in the area of 4,000 words. That's around 19 pages, double spaced, and in it's first three days it had more than a quarter million views.
Rule #4- In addition to the message, pictures of really cute children in cowboy hats seem to work well too. Attempts at whistling are a big plus.


Rolling on floor while laughing my heart's out! At least the revised rules didn't disappoint me as I'm doing what's stated in there. I mean, most of them. I don't need to worry whether my post would go five miles long. It's up to one interested reader to patiently scroll down and read more. And I'll rely on the "word of mouth" marketing strategy more. LoL! :)


Note on Rules: Excerpts from Dan Pearce article.

The Carpet List

Laughing out loud mode! hahaha.


Look at the title? It should be my bucket list or wish list instead of that one. But since I am working in a place where carpets abound, I just thought it might be a good idea to borrow this word just to make it different. LoL


This post was inspired by Kay's entry "31 Things To Do In One Year". Here's a link of her blog: Life Is Kulayful. It seems cool right? 


I'll be coming back to Manila on Nov. 18, 2011 @4:10pm. That's the exact landing of the plane that will be carrying us back home. So, I think of things I will do while spending my 37 days vacation. I'll list down 20 of 'em. I just hope I'll be able to accomplish these carpet list of mine. If so, then, it would be great. 


1. Visit a bookstore in Alabang Town Center and buy at least 2 new books.
2. Treat my family in a posh restaurant in late November or in my birthday
3. Watch at least 5 great movies 
4. Date with my God's Gift in a very relaxing place somewhere in the South of Manila
5. Meet up with my batchmates/classmates in any day in December.
6. Have a photo-shoot with my family.
8. Walk in the pathways of Intramuros with my soon-to-be-wife.
7. Throw a party on my birthday in Dec. 7
9. Do 7 acts of kindness for my family.
10. Attend an exhibit for "small and medium enterprise" business start-up.
11. Do an apprentice nature photo-shoot using our Nikon DSLR D5100 camera.
12. Hang-out with my "Smashers Badminton Club" in Paseo De Sta.Rosa.
13. Play badminton at least 3-4 times within the duration of my vacation.
14. Attend the mass in all Sundays within Nov. 19-Dec. 27 of 2011.
15. Do a getaway with my wife (this time, we're married already) in any tourist spot accessible by a bus.
16. Jump-start the feasibility study for the business I am brewing. 
17. Compile photos of my family (those which are retrievable and current)
18. Jog at least daily (if I'll stay in my sister's house)
19. Tightly hug my tatay and nanay in my wedding day.
20. Make love with my wife twice a day. LoL. Now, that is darn crazy! hahaha! (It's honeymoon peeps. wheww!-understandable.LoL :)


And last but definitely not the least. @21--Meet fellow bloggers in Manila. LoL. Sorry SweetKay...blame it to my poor memory. Got a memory gap now. LoL. Peace! Peace!


Well, these are my carpet list. Multi-tasking with office work while doing this list is awesome. Two priorities getting done in almost an hour. By the way, accomplishing these things are at random and so never expect it will be done according to the numbers.


Readers! What are your wish list? Feel free to write down you comments. :)

Stag Party

I was startled! 


Completely surprised that I was just tongue-tied and had a blank yet suspecting stare.


I am actually planning for one. And I even think yet unsure if a stag party is a party thrown-away for the engaged bachelor by close friends or the bachelor himself host it. 

Last Friday, I must say, was like an epic, first-of-its-kind, classic fun, and unconventional kind of stag party. I never knew it would be that early as I have my separate plan to throw a stag party for myself next week. 


Never did I thought that the culprits --SFC Dammam Boys, as masterminded by the Unit Leader Sattie McScotty would host a "Stag Party" (our modified verison) for me and bro. Roy when all I was expecting was just a Unit Assembly as he disclosed to me when we're talking about some details. He even told me that I should take a rest in the "creative department" of our Unit since I always take a critical role in almost all the creative side in any of the activities we do.


And so the party had began.


My suspicion grew bigger and clearer when I saw sets of condom in a box which at first I thought it was special balloons -- poor boy. LoL! hahaha! 


And so we were called in front. Two of us cross-seated. The first game was like a "bottom line" kind of stuff. People around were asked to look for any object from around the "House of Voices". Anything that they want to pick out or up and let them explain in a "naughty way" associating us why they choose that particular thing. It was funny though since some of them can't even ace how to deliver a funny/naughty explanation about the object they were holding. And it was like so off that bursting into laughter is like far from happening. Good thing, some were so spontaneous that rendered the everyone in audible laughter. It was like an ice-breaker since after that the fun continuously soaked in.


There comes a point where the top three funniest jokes graced with an opportunity to ask us with a "straight-forward & inside the-baul" kind of naughty question. I don't know if some thought that Roy and I would pass with a question or won't answer it. But to their surprise, we did what must be done. We answered all their questions without any second thoughts.  We're unsure if some were a bit shocked, or in disbelief. Or maybe they weren't even thinking that I've done this or done that. Well, surprises are surprises. You'll never know unless you've asked me before. It all boiled down on how far and deep have they knew me. LoL!


The crazy part of the party was when we grouped them into three and the boys had to present a "naughty dance" for us. This time, I can hardly hear due to the boisterous cheers and laughter surrounding the room. And what made it so wacky was that the performers didn't even realized they were videotaped by bro. Ken as I prodded him to do so. Sorry guys, I still need to grab a video copy from bro. Ken to upload it here. Just watch out for it.


That night was awesome. And the poker game wherein I lost 3 times and was punished to wear a blouse they borrowed from Sis. Mico . I can't hardly contain myself since the blouse was too-fit and the portion near the under arms was like tightly gripped and I was really uncomfy. They told me to wear it until the party is done, but I took it off after twenty minutes I guess.


You might wonder there ain't no girl wrapped in box as a present for us. Just to let you know, we are in a very strict country and having one would risk ourselves into a prison cell if caught in the act. So, we did the party in a modified version--our own version. A version safer and funnier.


Photos and Videos to be uploaded soon. 


ITUTULOY......

Doze-Off

Dozing-off which seemed like a thousand years?

This can’t be happening!

And it’s far from a writer’s block either. I have a number of topics to be written about but lately I have been such a “lazy bug” –a bitten lazy bug. I have been into “Me Time” for the past days and it’s killing me. I needed to wake up from the hiatus mode. It has been such a daze. It’s like I’m dozing-off for a thousand years.

Few days back, I randomly browsed the web for some blogging tips and here’s what I found. Just a thought of sharing it to you guys, especially for those who are about to start-up their blogging interest.  These are helpful tips that could make better your blog site. Take a full read and benefit from it.

 10 Commonly Done Mistakes Every Blogger Should Avoid

I ran across this helpful tips when I was browsing for a different thing. I won't say what's that about though. LoL! It's secret and you guys don't ask about it either. LoL! 

It seems like I'm just fillin' up the time where I could have made a more credible entry. But heck! I am so darn lazy these past forty-eight hours. I just feel like cuddling my pillows, listening to mellow songs, and sleep. It's like "Eat, Sleep, Cuddle" and not the "Eat, Pray, Love". LoL..hahaha. 

I guess, it a clear indication that winter is around the corner. As I quote our accountant saying: "Jay! it's like you've set your mind for the big day already" while he laughed audibly. 

And so guys, pagtiyagaan nyo na muna ang entry kong eto ha. Minsan dumadating talaga sa point ng isang "writer" ang mga ganitong mood. Walang ganang magsulat, walang ideyang pumapasok. Kumbaga sa pangingisda, madalang ang huli.

Okies, have a fun-filled read. LoL! :)  Scri-mi curind!

Life Song

How many of you have a life song in your lives? How many of you claim of a one great song that you can relate too much upon which hearing it would shed droplets of tears down your cheeks or would even lead you to crying a river? Not because you're hurt or in pain but it's because you feel overjoyed. It's like being in a cloud nine isn't enough to express how you feel. Perhaps many of us do have our own life song. Right? And here's one of the many life songs I have. Crazy enough that the title speaks of itself. LoL.. It's a Christian songs and it truly rocks. Who says Christian songs are boring? Who says such songs don't bring one into jumping or running across a concert arena. This one can make you do just that. 

As I was playing some popular music from my current favorite band "Boyce Avenue" while at work I was led back to re-visiting one of the many inspiring Christian songs I've always liked. A song from an awesome Christian band "CASTING CROWNS". And it's entitled "Life Song".


Suddenly, my body puts me in a worship mood. It pays to have a very encouraging Christian music to boost your energy to heed the call of worship. It gives you so much joy, so overflowing that it seem though you're in a certain ecstatic heights of joy.


The opening lyrics says: 

Empty hands held high, 

Such small sacrifice. 

If not join with my life;

I sing in vain tonight. 

May the words I say 

And the things I do. 

Make my life song sing;

Bring a smile to you."

It's a crazy thought that despite our location, despite tight security measures in a country where I'm currently at, it is no reason for us to sing our life song to our dear God. It does not hinders us to express our sincere gratitude for Him who is the provider of all that there is. 

That's why we are called "SFC Fearless". We brave all odds and we defy the famous notion here saying: "It's too risky to profess your faith here, we can't gather together because of this, because of that." I believe that wherever you are if God really calls you to serve He will work in mysterious ways to protect your being. True enough about this lines in the lyrics which says:

I wanna sign your name

Until the end of this day

Knowing that my heart was true

Let my life song sing to YOU.

Being Christian means fearless. It means pursuing HIM even death takes its toll on us. It's very hard to live out a Christian life. But that's what we are called for as Christians. We have to act upon what we believed in. We have to let go of our fear by converting it to courage. The amount of our fears is tantamount to the amount of courage we can have too.


So, be fearless in faith. Be bold and never be discouraged by tribulations or persecutions. 


As for me, I'm still in the process--aiming to be tough, to stay tough, and all the challenges I encounter are also my ingredients for my refinement.