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Wednesday, May 15, 2013

Negative Friends

Are you surrounded by them? Have you ever dealt with negative people before? If you have, you will know that the experience is quite a downer.

In our lives, we often encounter in our circle of influences those that belongs to the so called “negative friends” - often cynical, can't even smile with your ideas instead always finds a way to criticize them badly, too pessimistic most of the times and chooses destructive criticism over constructive. It's hard to have them around right? 

It's not that you don't want to have a long time friendship with them but it's just that if they have nothing to say good to you, it's better not to discuss anything with them. Never talk about anything that you care about to a negative person, they will literally drain your willpower.

When I was starting in the stock market, I was bombarded with criticisms coming from - well, negative people, the painful part is that "they are my long time friends". Few come from new friends but the degree of hurt isn't as deep compared to the old ones.

I made a mistake opening all about the stock market stuff with them. I was clouded by their "hear-say comments" all about stock market - saying that I'll eventually lose, that I'm not into good investment. It's a bit frustrating to receive these words from them considering they are your friends. During one of those moments where these negative people were insisting all about their negative energies, I once posted in my FB wall below statement:

They could have said like these: Good luck into your new venture! Study all about the stock market well (which I am doing). But their negativity somehow broken one of my wings.

Later when I realized and recalled that "Yeah they are people in my life that have nothing good to say about anything but spray cynic words over essential matter to me as if they're experts who have been so successful in their field and in the new field I'm interested into"

So, I slowly stop talking to them about the idea because they aren't helpful anyway. I didn't even get a fair support. So why stick on sharing with them about my new love - stock market - when I had to suffer bullets of harsh words from them. They don't deserve a spot in my plan. It's not that I don't love or care about them, but I just need to shy away myself because they're not helping anyway - they're destroying a dream that I can build and eventually share with them when I succeeded. 

From that experience, I've realized that it is very important to really stay away from negative people even if they are close to you (long time friends and relatives). Treat them as black hole of happiness. All the positive energy that you get from your dream reminders, role models and supporters will all get sucked out in the moment you talk to negative people - so stay away from them.

Once you stay away from them, all that is left are positive people that fully supports you, encourages you, will do constructive criticism and will even share what they know about the new field you're into. 

So, take glory having the positive people in your life - they will serve as your driver, propeller, engine, supporter and most especially dream reminders. In case you have negative friends in your life, never ever be trapped in a mistake I had because If you do you'll stumble in the same manner I have had. So when you feel that a friend (long time or new) is slowly building a block of negativity over you, slowly drifts away from them. Learn to make some detour. Or else all your positive energy will be sucked out of you. 

Remember these words from Warren Buffet:

Associate with people who are positive, self starters and true achievers. In this manner, you can create success in your life by surrounding with the better people in your life. 

Let me share with you a piece of my success story in the stock market.

I started last February when I went home for vacation with my good friend and my online eledst son Arvin (this name calling came up when he started calling me "Daddy Jay - which obviously spread into my circle of blogger-friends).

Together, we endured sitting to a conference room for almost 3 hours just to listen to the fundamental topics about stock market investing. Eventually, we opened an account with COL FINANCIAL - our online stock broker and viola! - we're ready to buy shares of stocks. But the story does not end to that. I even attended another session - a repeat session actually since I didn't get all that I need to know quickly. 

So when we head back overseas, we religiously get ourselves updated with the things we need to know all about stock market. I do my own research, reading stock market blogs - hopping from one to another, participating in the forum and joining Facebook page that tackles about investing especially for Pinoys who are working abroad, even talking to some of my great friends who are into investing earlier than I was. Good thing, the reader in me made it easy to absorb most of the things that I need to know about the bullish stock market our country has right now.

I am just happy to announce that with my diligence, patience, drive and determination to advance in it, right now I am enjoying a 9.29% gains over my total portfolio. I won't give out numerical details of how big my portfolio is - just leave it to me haha! And it's an awesome experience. I just hope people from my circle of influence would try to do it before entertaining misgivings. It's worth the try. And I would say, try first before you complain or critique.

Surround yourself with the dreamers and doers, the believers and the thinkers. But most of all, surround yourself with those people that see greatness within you even when you don't see it in you that soon. 

And by the way, I have good stories to tell you ahead, I'm keeping it as of the moment since I am still waiting for something. I'll keep you posted soon. 


All photos were taken from the net and so the credit goes to the real owner.


  1. SUPER AGREE!!!! drain talaga ang energy mo sa mga negatibong tao. kaya nga nagpapakapositibo ako at medyo iwas-iwas sa kanila. friends ko pa rin naman sila. it's just that hindi kasi nakakatulong ang pagiging negative nila.

  2. Very true. Haters are haters. They can easily look for the faults without even trying to balance the good and the bad. Good luck to your investment. Truth is, its your money. You can do whatever you want with it.

  3. Naku Daddy Jay, tumpak kayo jan :))

    I think, I should start doing the same thing. Masarap sa pakiramdam kapag napapalibutan ka ng mga positibong tao sa paligid. Iwas iwas din sa mga negative people/stuffs around you pag may time. Hahatakin ka lng nila pababa.

    If you are attracted to the right kind of friends, when you start to go wrong, they will keep you going right.

    Nakakatuwa naman na malaman na talagang kumikitang kabuhayan na kayong dalawa ni Arvin sa stock market :)

  4. Im so happy for you daddy jay! Looking forward for more good news....

  5. I asked my friend also na nag-invest sa stock market..then, binigay niya yong site para daw mabasa ko at if interesado talaga ako may mga schedule of seminars sila na naka-post sa website nila.

    Planning to invest also sa stock market just like my friend. And i started reading ebooks from Bo Sanchez about investing. I-push ko na ito! :)

    Thanks, Daddy Jay for the inspiring post. Ignore na lang sa mga nega people.

  6. Whenever I feel I'm getting too negative, I just shut up and try not to go online.

    I really hate it when I post something positive then somebody replies negatively. I delete it then restrict that person. Works all the time. :)

  7. I call them Dementors, hehe.

    Very true. Not all, even the closest ones, will always express their support.

    Anyway, keep it up with your new venture!:)

  8. Tara na't mag-unfriend/unfollow ng mga tao. Haha!

  9. Ahahaha i know someone kaya nga I don't pay tooooooo much attention on what that person is saying of mocking ahahahaha.

  10. Malaki talaga ang impact ng pag ang taong sa paligid mo is good vibes, nakakaopen ng more ideas at confidence sa sarili. Ayoko ng Nega pepz, tipong laslas pulso agad ang peg.. nakakadrain ng energy.

  11. haha buti na lang ako kahit madals negative ang feelings ko ee nagagawa kong maging positive ung labas ko!
    well hirap naman talaga pag negative mga taong nasapaligid mo parang sakit yan madale makahawa

  12. negativity at pagiging pessimistic lang din naman ang pag-uusapan, ipakilala ko sayo ang Top Rated #01 na bansa dyan. Yan ay ang aking bansang Hungary. Imagine my daily life always being pessimistic because of their bad aura I received from them. Wag kang mangangamusta ng isang hungarian sa umaga kung ayaw mong mapaksyet ang buong araw mo, dahil puro negativity lang ang maririnig mo sa kanila. Destructive criticism slash their daily life about their family and work. nakakaumay.

    Feel kita sa pagkadisappointed sa sa mga kilala natin sa buhay na may shineshare tayong maganda na ikauunlad ng ating buhay at sa kanilang buhay din pero sa halip syet comments lang ang binabato sayo. Pero in my opinion pagdating naman kasi sa pera nganga na mga tao. Akala nila pinapahamak natin sila slash baka may shit happen na mangyari and i understand it pero wag naman yung to the point na ikaw na nga yung may good intension tapos sisiraan ka pa at kung ano anong syet opinion pa ang ikakalat tungkol sa iyo.

    Basta pera na ang topic imba na.

  13. Don't allow negative people to shoot down our own dreams & take away are hope. hehe.

    Go lang sa stocks. Sabi nga nila investing in stocks is not for the faint of heart. Brave tayo e. hehe

  14. contagious ang negativity...pero mindset lang naman ang mga ganyan most of the time... :)

  15. it took me some time to finally decide to comment on this post. naka-ilang balik ako actually... baka kasi maging negative ang dating lol but true.

    First off I totally agree with you when you said that it is better when you distance yourself from negative people-= SO TRUE!

    BUT! reference to the subject you used as basis or example - STOCK MARKET?

    Well let's face it, this "topic" is still "not an ordinary topic" para sa lahat... baka naman kasi it was brought out or discussed sa maling panahon or timing? baka namang kasi mula sa pag gising natin sa umaga hanggang sa pagtulog natin sa gabi eh stock market na lang ang topic natin? mula facebook, twitter at kung ano-ano pang social media eh yun pa rin?

    eh baka ako rin pag ganyan ang long time friend ko I will encourage him positively then after that baka pagtaguan ko na lol. I mean yung tipong feeling nung tao "wala na bang ibang topic?"

    I mean business topic should be discussed in a proper venue and timing. As you said "they are long time friends". Minsan kasi pag kausap mo ang mga long time friends mas gusto nila mag-usap kayo candidly and NOT ABOUT STOCK MARKET? Baka naman kasi they just want to change the topic at naging negative lang ang dating?

    Most long time friends do really care about their friends - kumbaga may pinagsamahan na. baka naman na-misinterpret lang kasi nga you don't share the same opinion about stock market.

    Opinion lang naman sakin...

    Btw, CONGRATULATIONS on your investments! Balato naman dyan ha ha

  16. ;-) ayoko din sa nega people. and dali ko kayang mawalan ng hope. buti nalang most of my friends are fun-loving at super positive kahit dehado na ang sitwasyon me smile parin.

    at ayoko din sa taong naghahanap ng mali kahit wala man lang syang experience about it.

    and i dont see any negative thoughts about investing. daddy jay, sorry ha, pero i think nagsa- sour grape lang yan mga nega friends mo.

  17. I stay away from negative people - they have this cloud that dims their perspective and often than not they try to cast that cloud on you too.

    Life is too short to be negative! :)


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