Poetry 003: Where Do I Start?

Here's another poem I wrote to breathe out my emotion during one of the weakest point in my life.


Sometimes, life is too cruel, sometimes it's mind boggling. It's the reason why I took time to let my emotional distress out. One is, to release and breathe out loud. Two, to escape the monotony of my life during those trying times. Penning this poem was one great way to ease-out the unexplained paranoia I was suffering back then. It somehow helped me though. I was just in my life's lowest point that I'm so desperate what to do and where to start again.


Originally, I manuscripted this poem last June 2, 2001. On the contrary, it is nice sometimes when we're in a state of depression because it fuels us to think deeper, contemplate further, and meticulously plan the next step we must take ---afraid of committing the same mistakes again and again. I won't elaborate what went wrong that time but it was a thing that gravely frustrates me. After that rain, my optimism and drive for life heightened in great leaps and bounds. I know there is a God above who controls me and who direct my actions. I was able to bounce back. And before I deviate further, here's the poem I am talking about:

WHERE DO I START?

Where do I start...

To hone again the talent close to deterioration,

To open-up the window of dawn unfolding,

So many dreams yet lots of trials,

But the heart's will still vivid and clear

Where do I start...

To assemble, to fix pieces of ideas

Years of endurance yet doesn't paid-off

Tough as it maybe mind has its way

To penetrate an endeavor and bring closer to reality

Where do I start...

To hold you back ..Oh!.. great memories

Memoirs of yesteryear trying to recapture

To warm-up again and set a whole new goal

In the midst of crisis to stand after fall

Where do I start...

To rekindle the spirit of unending quest

To rejuvenate the feather of fathoming dreams

In spite hardship,hope will still float

Hope to bring labored fruit close to its root

Where do I start...

To reminisce things of great importance

To see myself surpass the long endurance

Why and how is the question of skills

Refined by fire a discipline becomes will

Where do I start...

In a battle of hope and vigilance

Beyond sacrifice and long suffering

To see myself wide awake in a misty cool night

Yet it is within me that will start to mobilize

Is is worth starting?...

With wings broken and dreams rotten

Countless of burden still fast approaching

When will I peek the twilight of hope

To refuel the engine of stuck inspiration

Too far to start.....

Yet too close to imagine

It is the sole me to grasp the real serene

Within me and a whole reborn me

I can still remember that year in 2001, I am just starting out as a yuppie, but climbing the ladder of success was so arduous. And you're confronted by a dwindling economy. Government protests here, there, and everywhere. EDSA has been the constant melting pot. The crossroad where everyone stops and shouts their disagreement and bickering their complaints. It was then, it was the time of my life's lowest point.