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Tuesday, April 23, 2013

My Apology, My Lord


Dear Lord,

I can’t sleep tonight!

I feel so lonely.

My heart carries a heavy load of guilt because I have unintentionally offended someone I consider close to me.

I have laid flat on my bed but I am wide awake and cant' even feel the sense of being sleepy.

Though I've conveyed my sincere apology but I just feel that it is lacking due to a sour response.

Honestly, I am damn stupid why I did drag a name that has been valued the most. Though, it was purely unintentional but I still err. The very thought that I had pinched a portion of my close friend's heart is enough that I did so wrong with that joke.

I could have been more sensitive and choose other things instead. But the damage is done. I can't redo what I did. 

I am carrying an enormous guilt that I felt for the first time. It's because I value this person a a close one. 

Now, what's next is I don't know. I don't even have any idea what will be the repercussion to our friendship after this incident. 

Suddenly, I felt discouraged, disengaged, and disconnected. What's worse is that, I remember my close friend's quote to me before: "If you have issues with someone close to you, tell them frankly but nice. I did what was told but I just felt a sour response. Or is it just me who feel it? 

Lead me oh Lord to your will to me. 

But, Lord let me assure you that this incident will be between You and me and my close friend. No one will ever receive any clue who the person is because I reserve my right to make it private. I write this because I just want to pour out my heart to YOU upon whom I should apologize the most. 

If this incident will be a test of friendship, I will fully obey unto You will upon us. I know you have the power to mend even the most shattered of relationships. And I believe you will. 

Lord you know very well that my conscience is clean - the intention to offend him is none from my plan nor it stick to my head. And that I don't want to offend anyone, let alone friends close to me. 

Strengthens in me again a heart that endures and an apologetic heart. 

This time on, I have misgivings if I can joke around again. Lord, I guess I am not good at it. Or if I may do so, guide me that I won't utter words that woud hurt, even unintentionally. 

More than asking an apology to my close friend, I should ask apology from YOU first because I have done something unworthy to you for doing such an unintentional offense. 

Forgive me Oh Lord! another shortcoming has been made by your erring son. The occasion to sin had once again succeeded that I fall prey/victim in my most unguarded moment. 

I will try to sleep now. I know things will be ok, not for now, but in the days ahead. I know you won't disappoint me. If there are things that you want me to learn from this experience, reveal it to me Lord. 

Thanks for listening Lord, Good night Father!

19 comments:

  1. It will be ok kua Jay, we can't avoid to hurt the people we love no matter how we value our relationships to them. Nice that you surrender everything to God.

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  2. Don't stress yourself too much. You can't really avoid being blunt when you're showing too much concern. That's part of being human.

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  3. I am more like you. I cant sleep if I know I hurt someone. Yes, no one is perfect and the good thing is there is forgiveness to find. Anyway, nag sorry ka na naman and I believe it will be ok:)

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  4. You could always say you're sorry or show that someone that you are and you're willing to make up for it. I'm sure God will answer your prayer and who ever it is you offended will forgive you :)

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  5. daddy jay feeling ko kilala ko sya. pero sana nagkamali ako. anyway, ang ganda ng prayer mo. ako rin me ganyang pag iisip everytime i unintentionally or intentionally said something to a person. lalo na kung close. pero ganyan talaga diba. we're just mere humans, and kahit ano gawin natin nagkakamali pa rin. for sure di yan masyadong affected yang friend mo. magiging okay din yan. wag ka lang sumuko sa kanya.

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  6. You have done the best Mr. J. Let the Lord comfort your friend and let the time heal the wound.

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  7. Jei Son - Thanks for the encouragement. Things will be ok, after all my good friend is a nice person.

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  8. Mommy Joy - Yeah, I err and I know I hurt a feeling of a dear friend. I did my best. And Lord has His ways to mend things for us. Thanks mommy!

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  9. Zai - Thanks for your nice thoughts. Maayos din eto.

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  10. Phioxee - Salamat, the important thing is I did my apology, and it was sincere. Di kasi ako mapakali even though the act was purely unintentional.

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  11. Genskie- Thank you! Yes, The Lord will make ways between us. Plus, knowing that good friend is a nice person.

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  12. hmm naku may mamimiss ata aking happening ahh, baka sa twitter to kaya di ko alam!
    anyway nakapagsorry ka naman na at di mo naman intention na makasakit im sure magiging okay di yan
    in god's name jay

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  13. I feel sorry for what happened, but don't stress about it too much. It's nice that you've already talked to your friend about this, but the sour response is probably because he/she was just too hurt at that time. I'm sure time will heal the wound. Just trust God and everything will be okay :)

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  14. Mecoy - Thanks! Yeah in God's time.

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  15. Sumi - Thanks for the nice thoughts. And yes everything will be fine in God's perfect time.

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  16. Daddy Jay!!!

    I believe you only did the right thing here. I know in God's perfect time magkakaayos din kayo.

    Naglaro ako ng konek da dots... at mejo alam ko na kung sino yan pero I'll keep my mouth shut na lng... I know this is a sensitive issue.

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  17. Fiel - Thanks for the respect. Let's leave it at that. God is in the works.

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  18. I believe, eventually, all things will fall into the right place. And I know everything will be okay.

    "If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness." 1 John 1:9

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