It’s a sucker - a sucker of confidence that is.
I never saw it coming - never did. But it came - it's like it slapped me with a heavy palm. It happened - and it did tonight.
The convergence of misfits and errors really chillingly shivered me.
The technical didn't work the way it should supposed to back me up, the sheer exhaustion, the "no sleep at all" the night before - which I didn't intend to happen. Adding up to the injury is the unexpected nerve which really took me by surprise. Plus the timing of the talk. All these factors contributed to the down-dropping of my confidence.
All the preparation, the brainstorming, the sleepless nights, the research, etc. didn't give justice to what I've grossly done.
Who would stand in my way and let it happen? I pretty guess no one. All of us wanted a good show, an excellent delivery. Even if I just had a fair expectation.
What am I talking about here?
It's about my talk - the assigned talk given to me for the "LOVE FORUM - The Courtship In The SFC Culture."
I'm a failure at some parts. Disappointment right in front of me. As much as I wanted to whisk it away and move on, I just feel the need to vent out - to release the tension that's been prodding me to go out.
Well yeah, I've finished the talk with a blast because of a very inspiring short video, but the first up to middle part really choked up pointing to all the reasons above as the culprit of jeopardy.
But what happened had happened. Sometimes, a downfall is needed to remind us that we're human - that we're not even close to being perfect and that there is no such thing as "perfection".
Now, I need to move on - to go forward and ahead to continue the journey. Walking with me is the learning experience from it. Next time, I'll bounce back and come out stronger. There is no way but up and ahead.
But despite of what had happened, I want to thank all from the organizing team for their efforts in putting up a good show and a worthy endeavor.
Until next time and wait for my redemption.
Kudos to all of you guys!