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Saturday, February 22, 2014

Confidence Downdrops

It’s a sucker - a sucker of confidence that is. 

I never saw it coming - never did. But it came - it's like it slapped me with a heavy palm. It happened - and it did tonight.

The convergence of misfits and errors really chillingly shivered me. 

The technical didn't work the way it should supposed to back me up, the sheer exhaustion, the "no sleep at all" the night before - which I didn't intend to happen. Adding up to the injury is the unexpected nerve which really took me by surprise. Plus the timing of the talk. All these factors contributed to the down-dropping of my confidence.

All the preparation, the brainstorming, the sleepless nights, the research, etc. didn't give justice to what I've grossly done.

Who would stand in my way and let it happen? I pretty guess no one. All of us wanted a good show, an excellent delivery. Even if I just had a fair expectation. 

What am I talking about here? 

It's about my talk - the assigned talk given to me for the "LOVE FORUM - The Courtship In The SFC Culture." 

I'm a failure at some parts. Disappointment right in front of me. As much as I wanted to whisk it away and move on, I just feel the need to vent out - to release the tension that's been prodding me to go out.

Well yeah, I've finished the talk with a blast because of a very inspiring short video, but the first up to middle part really choked up pointing to all the reasons above as the culprit of jeopardy. 

But what happened had happened. Sometimes, a downfall is needed to remind us that we're human - that we're not even close to being perfect and that there is no such thing as "perfection". 

Now, I need to move on - to go forward and ahead to continue the journey. Walking with me is the learning experience from it. Next time, I'll bounce back and come out stronger. There is no way but up and ahead. 

But despite of what had happened, I want to thank all from the organizing team for their efforts in putting up a good show and a worthy endeavor. 

Until next time and wait for my redemption.

Kudos to all of you guys!


  1. Hi Jay, let me share to you something my mother inculcated in me. "Wouldn't it be great if things fall perfectly based on our plans? But, more often than not, they don't, And every time, it will be a test of character... of how you handle the situation the best possible way you can. And despite your best efforts and still nothing seems to be working, just let it go for you have learned something very valuable... experience."

  2. okay lag yan daddy. there's always a next time

    1. Yeah, there is always another time. Thanks :)

  3. awtsu! bawi bawi na lang po :(

    1. Tama ka Rix, bawi nalang. Di lahat ng oras nasa atin ang alas, minsan, olats talaga. Well, God has his reason behind this and that one I'm trusting. Thanks

  4. cheer up sir Jay!
    sabi nga sa movie na Frozen-
    "Let it go!" :)

    1. Thank you. Best way is to let it go nga. :)

  5. Just exactly how i feel in every single day of this past few months, but anyway for you this is kinda unusual and I'm sure you're redemption is not far at reach
    cheer up jay

    1. Well, as they say, shit happens every once in a while and it chooses anyone. Things will be better Mecs! Thanks

  6. Hahaha... "Wait for my redemption" parang "I shall return" lang ah...
    There are really events that could happen out of our control, ganun talaga, either we aggrevate the situation, let it go or make best out of the situation... Sabi nga, 'the show must go on'

    I'll wait for the moment of redemption! hahahaha :P Happy weekend Dadijay!

    1. May series of speaking engagement pa kasi ako Kat kaya may redemption hahaha. Pinatawa mo din ako sa comment mo lols

  7. Awww... ayus lang yan Daddy Jay. I'm sure sa next mong sabak, perfect mo na yan :)

    When we give ourselves permission to fail, we, at the same time, give ourselves permission to excel, di ba?


  8. Thanks Fiel for the nice thoughts and you're so right indeed! :)

  9. curious about the talk's topic though. mukhang negative yung pumapasok sa utak ko.

    1. The topic focuses on how the culture of courtship happens in our SFC community. :)

    2. I graduated from clp last dec, and as of now, medyo negative po sakin ang dating nung ganung kultura. parang nagiging fishing ground ang sfc para magkalovelife. i have nothing against this po, may certain instances lang siguro akong nakita kaya naiisip ko ito. just my opinion, though. and I don't to offend anything or anyone.

    3. Good to know that you've finished the CLP!

      To address you about how you primarily view the culture in SFC - this is what I can say. Our community is just a normal or regular religious community like any other - not perfect but do not condone any act against its teachings.

      Like any other community, there are members that need to grow more mature in teachings. People in our community are bunch of sinners, like me, who are trying to re-direct their path towards spiritual growth.

      I have started my Singles For Christ life in the Philippines. Like anyone else, I was also not so serious entering this community at first. But when I was able to receive the different teachings, I gradually saw myself growing spiritually and more mature in handling things and situations in life.

      Accepting growth (i.e. spiritual) is a matter of personal conviction - it's because no amount of shepherding can topple a "pasaway" person. He/She has to initiate a personal change. As leaders, we only act as guides.

      And yes, you are correct - though it is not part of our culture - but sometimes people (especially brothers) tend to use the community to look for someone to be their girlfriend - defeating its primary purpose of making them grow in their personal faith.

      At some point, brothers/sisters are only excited to attend the HH (Household Meeting) just to see the person they are after for. There are several cases like that. I was a witness to that.

      We have the culture din kasi that if a bro has a romantic intention towards a sis, he should declare his intention by asking permission from his leader.

      But it's not always the case. Even with the constant advice or reminder of leader/s to undergo the proper way of courtship, there are some who just hide their relationship away from their leader and from the entire HH where they belong. In such case, it's not the community's mistake nor of its leader but it's the person's stubbornness.

      In cases where a leader is doing things contrary to the teachings or if you see your leader erring, you can talk to him in a one to one setting. However, if the issue wasn't resolved between you and your leader, you can escalate it to a ranking leader higher than them.

      I hope I shed some light towards your concern. :) :)

    4. Sorry for the very late reaction, been away from blogger for like weeks. Thanks for enlightening po. I'm sure I'll soon find out those things I'm supposed to see for myself in the community. Anyway, it's not my nature to be close-minded. I always give myself the chance to learn and find out things. :)

    5. It's ok bro, no worries!

      I know you have other things to attend to like me. Appreciate it much that you replied kahit medyo matagal.

  10. Mas nakaka-nose bleed ka pala pag frustrated ka? Ha ha ha

    Let it go my friend! Here's something to cheer you up :)


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